Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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