they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
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I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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