Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
