She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize