I'm drive I can fine osifer
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
