Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
