that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
