We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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