I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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