Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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