1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize