I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize