butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
