God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Houston, we have a squirter
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
