Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
