he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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