Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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