i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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