im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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