You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
