just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
