Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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