Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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