She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
This is not my ceiling
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are all done wearing pants today
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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