You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
