These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
