i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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