I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
