I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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