you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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