I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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