i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
