Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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