Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize