I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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