Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
handjob tips. give me some.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
