i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
50% drunk capacity currently
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
