My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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