You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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