what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
