Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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