It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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