Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
