Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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