Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
