I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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