Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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