How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
