You surviving the open bar?
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Nicole vs. Life
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
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