dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How's work?
Spinning.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
