An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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