I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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