Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
