ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
try to milk me bitch
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