There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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