The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Damn victory sex feels great
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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