And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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