I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
