omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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