For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
