How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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