dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
