He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
