im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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