I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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