My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
