Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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