first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize