New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
either way he was missing a nipple.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
