We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
