"it" just moved
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Terrible idea I love it
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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