we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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